Valentine’s Day is fast approaching… and for happy couples, it certainly is a day to look forward to. But what if you’re single, brokenhearted, or alone during Valentine’s day? Are you looking forward to celebrate the day as well?

Take a look around. You see all these couples together… holding hands, having fun, and looking so in love… It’s perfectly normal to feel sad, because let’s face it… Valentine’s day does really feel like this HUGE NEON LOVE sign that seems to sneer at you, taunting you. And you can’t help but wish… if only you had that special someone that you could kiss and cuddle with… then you would have a reason to celebrate the occasion.

Aahhh.. love is in the air. But if you’re reading this, and you’re single… don’t lose heart, light that face up, and don’t feel too sorry for yourself. Valentine’s Day is a day of love and romance, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to make the day fun and memorable for you. I think singles have as much right to celebrate Valentine’s as do couples, right?

There are a lot of things you can do to get through the day. Treat yourself to something good. You don’t need a lover to make you happy, and you know it. It’s probably easier said than done, but hey… you can do it! Here are just a few tips to get you started: Go to a spa, pamper yourself to a day of rest and relaxation. Gather your single friends and go out for drinks, or do something fun, like dancing. Work out in the gym. Go malling or shopping. If you don’t want to be alone during the night, invite friends over and you can have your very own little party. The point is to have a good time, and not feel sorry for yourself just because you happen to be unattached at the moment. Do that, and February 14 shouldn’t be such a dreadful day.

Honestly, Valentine’s Day is really no different from any other day, it’s a holiday created by Hallmark for crying out loud! So don’t beat yourself up if you happen to be dateless. Think positive and be happy! You owe it to yourself.

Copyright©2009angel

Which do you think is the more selfish sex, male or female? What about the more sensitive and understanding sex? Men are viewed as tough on the outside, while women are viewed to be more sensitive and emotional.

Have you read the book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? It’s a great, informative book that discusses the individual differences between men and women, and it gives concrete examples about the way we each deal with things. Women think men are selfish because all they think about is themselves, work and other guy stuff. But according to the book, men are just wired this way. We all have different fulfillment desires, men and women differ with regards to this. But just because we need different things doesn’t mean we can’t meet halfway and reach some kind of compromise.

If women knew the drives of men and the fulfillment they need, then it would be easier to understand them. In the same way, if men knew and understood the ways of a woman’s mind and her drives, it would be easier to deal with them. The key is to know what each sex needs and wants.

It’s pretty unfair for both sexes to put the blame on each other when we don’t even understand ourselves in the first place. It’s easy to say, “My man is so selfish, all he does is work and he doesn’t have time for me.” But if you understand that “feeling successful” is one of the basic needs of men, then you’ll know how to deal with it. The same with women… if guys knew what drives a woman to be emotional, and what goes on with their roller coaster of emotions, they’ll be more understanding and sympathetic, and the world will be a much nicer and better place. Read the book guys, it’s really helpful.

Copyright©2008angel

Are you the type of person who gets jealous easily? When you see your boyfriend or girlfriend with someone else, does your brain go into overdrive making you think of negative scenarios? Or are you the type who is very secure in your relationship that you rarely, if ever, get jealous?

What is it that makes us jealous, anyway? Why do we get jealous? Is it because we’re insecure, and we feel threatened and afraid that we’re going to lose the people in our lives to someone else? Or perhaps we want to be in someone else’s shoes (although that sounds more like envy). Anyway, jealousy is one of the most destructive emotions ever, and it’s especially lethal to relationships if not controlled. Of course, we know this already… there are lots of self help books that discuss this. But jealousy is an emotion that can’t be cured by reading self-help books. It can be minimized, yes, and we can even change our reactions to it, but that doesn’t mean that we won’t feel it.

I think one main cause of jealousy, is insecurity. If we are insecure of ourselves, it just goes to show that we are also insecure of our partner’s love for us. So understandably, we get scared that he might find someone else better than us… right? And that’s why we get jealous. We tend to become possessive, and be wary of people who might take our treasure away from us. But can jealousy also help relationships? I think yes, if done in good context and with good reason, because it shows that we love our partners and we care about them. And sometimes it can be flattering too, to know that your boyfriend is jealous of another guy who seems to like you. But if he’s being unreasonable about it, then that’s a different story.

Jealousy is a negative feeling, and if done in excess, it’s one of the most painful and frustrating experiences, not to mention stressful, especially for women who are more emotional than men. It makes you paranoid and restless, with no peace of mind. And who would want to have that kind of feeling, right? So if you’re in a relationship where jealousy is a huge problem, you have to stop and evaluate where your jealousy is coming from, and deal with it right away. How do we do it? One thing we can do is feel good about ourselves, once we are secure of ourselves and secure of our love and relationship with someone, there’s no need to get jealous of others.

It’s important to curb jealousy early on in the relationship before it’s too late, because it just might save your relationship. You have to do this not only for yourself but for your partner as well. Remember, you are in control. Control your jealousy, don’t let your jealousy control you.

What do you do when you get jealous?

Copyright©2008angel

What do men want anyway? I’ve seen lots of beautiful women who are not so lucky when it comes to maintaining relationships. I also know of women who are pros in keeping their men. But what is it that men look for in women? It’s more than just beauty, that’s a fact. A friend of mine said that a girl can be the most beautiful woman in the planet, but if they’re not compatible, the relationship won’t work in the long run. What men want, are women who already have their act together. So I asked my male friends what are some of the qualities that they look for in a woman and they had lots to answer:

• Has a good sense of humor - It’s dull being with a girl who doesn’t know how to laugh. What men want are women who have a good sense of humor. Guys find it attractive when girls can laugh at anything, even themselves. It just shows that she’s comfortable with herself and enjoys the lighter things in life.

• A good conversationalist - Most guys dig smart women. A friend of mine told me that’s one of the top qualities he looks for in a girlfriend, someone who’s smart and intelligent, someone he can have a good conversation with, and who will talk with him about a wide variety of topics. He shared with me an experience he had where he immediately hit it off with a girl who was so interesting to talk to he can’t wait to be with her again. Good conversations are addictive, and if a girl is good at them, that’s lots of brownie points!

• A good listener - Men love good conversationalists, but they also look for women who know how to listen. Men also have a need to share, although not the way women do. They also crave for someone who can listen to their woes, their stories, their opinions, someone who cares and understands. Most guys can’t stand women who talk and talk but don’t have the time to listen. A woman who knows the balance between talking and listening, is a rare find.

• Can hang out with their male buddies - Men love it when their girlfriends can hang out with their male friends. She doesn’t have to be with them all the time, but if she doesn’t mind hanging out with the guys from time to time, he’ll love her more for it. Guys love their circle of friends, so if you can feel comfortable hanging out with them, his friends will love you and your man will be proud.

• Spontaneous - A spontaneous girl is game for anything. She doesn’t have a long list of rules that she has to follow, and she’s not predictable. Guys can sometimes be impulsive, like for instance, they get the urge to do something fun like go out of town for the night, and they call up their girlfriend to come with them. There are girls who will refuse just coz she doesn’t feel like it. Of course, if she has a pressing reason not to go, like if she has exams, that’s understandable. But mainly, guys love it when girls can live spontaneously and can say, “Game!”

• Can control her temper - Fights are unavoidable in relationships, but guys like women who can keep their cool during these tense moments. A friend of mine loves the way his girlfriend handles their fights. When he’s upset, she would merely listen, and will never shout at him. She waits for him to calm down, and then she would say her piece. Shouting matches are never good, so women who can keep their cool and not show that they’re overly upset, are greatly appreciated by men.

These are just a few qualities that my friends shared with me when I asked them what men want in women. Each person is different, and we all have our ideal qualities that we look for in a partner, so men have different wants too. But generally, these qualities are appealing and these are the qualities in women that make men want to keep them in their lives.

What other qualities do you think men want in women?

Copyright©2008angel

“Can’t we start over again?”

Have you experienced saying these words to someone you love? It’s hard to say goodbye to the one we love. So we do all we can to save our relationships when it’s on the verge of breaking up. It doesn’t hurt so much to the one leaving, but to the one left behind, it’s painful. That’s why we do whatever we can to hold on, to work things out, to make everything right again.

In relationships, there will always be problems and hardships that couples have to experience in order to grow and test their love for each other. And when these problems occur, there’s always the risk of the relationship not being able to pull through, that’s why it results in a breakup. But there are relationships that are resilient and are able to recover from the blow, and as a result, the couple’s love for each other becomes stronger than ever. This takes a lot of effort and commitment on both parties to decide to work things out.

Petty fights and little misunderstandings are part of a normal relationship. But when big problems occur, like cheating, lying big time, family issues, etc., these are capable of ruining the relationship altogether. And after some time, taking into consideration all the hurt and pain that the problem caused, the couple can either decide to start over again or breakup for good.

In the case of a man wanting to leave because he’s had enough or no longer wants to be in the relationship, and the woman is still very much in love and refuses to accept the man’s decision, then she can probably ask for another chance, or ask if they can start all over again. But she has to be ready for the answer. This can work in some cases, but when the mind’s made up and the relationship is beyond repair, there’s no turning back.

Relationships are complicated in the sense that sometimes, it’s not always black and white. Feelings change, situations change, and most importantly, people change. Problems are just precursors, but ultimately, we are the ones who decide. It’s okay to ask for another chance, but after all is said and done, we have to respect our partner’s decision. Because we can’t force someone to feel a certain feeling just because we want them to. We have to be ready to hear the truth and accept it, no matter how difficult. Keep this in mind, the next time you find yourself asking, “Can’t We Start Over Again?”

Will you still hold on when he says “enough”?

Copyright©2008angel

It’s amazing how a man can cause a variety of feelings in a woman… it’s something that has no comparison really. We can use metaphors to explain them or compare them with other things, but everything is still just shallow representations of what we REALLY feel deep inside. You have to experience it for yourself to know exactly what it’s all about.

I just love the melody of this song and the attempt to explain how a man can make a woman feel. Can you relate to the song?

Copyright©2008angel

Nowadays, the world has become so advanced in technology… we have cellphones, Internet, e-mails, chat… so many technological inventions are being made. Don’t get me wrong, these are great things and they bring so much convenience to us, but apart from the wonderful benefits that we get from these technological advances, there are certain disadvantages as well. Like for instance, cellphones can be great tools of communication with our loved ones, right? That’s a good thing. But they can also be used for “not-so-wonderful acts” like cheating.

I know a lot of people who are victims of this. A friend of mine cried when she found in her boyfriend’s cellphone a text message from a girl saying “I love you”. She found lots of sweet messages in the guy’s inbox and that’s where she knew that he’s been cheating on her the whole time. Another friend of mine is complaining that when she’s with her man, she gets frustrated because he’s always on his mobile phone, texting… and when she asks who it is he’s talking to, he becomes evasive. Also, he gets furious when she wants to see his cellphone and he gives her a hard time about it, saying that he needs his privacy. Yet another friend of mine found out that her long time boyfriend was cheating on her when she browsed through his chat archives. Yeah… OUCH, right? If this has happened to you too, you’d know how much it hurts.

The thing is, technology has now become another “creative” means to flirt with other people or start and nurture an affair. Many people admit to using technology to fool around and become unfaithful. In other words, it definitely makes cheating a lot easier. With this reality, how are we supposed to trust each other anymore? It’s sad because this trend is becoming predominant in our society today. It’s scary, really.

Especially when you think you know somebody so well, and you trust that person completely, just to discover him flirting with someone else in the chat room or through text messaging. See, even to the most faithful person, the ease of communication that technology brings can be a real temptation. Anyway, who would know right? Chatting is so easy, you can just flirt away when your partner is not around. Or texting can be done anytime anywhere, right? It’s a very tempting thing to do with someone, especially one that you’re strongly attracted to. And it can be instrumental in the conception of an affair that is capable of ruining most relationships.

I guess no matter what we do, we can’t ever really put a stop to this trend. It will always be present, and the only thing we can really do is be careful and just be a wonderful partner to the person in our life. If he cheats, then it’s his conscience that’s on the line, not yours.

Life and love is complicated, and we can never really explain it’s every intricacy. Life can be unfair too, so it’s up to us how we use every situation to our advantage. Technology can make cheating easier, but we all still have a choice. It all comes down to whether or not we will allow a certain device to ruin our principles, and yes, our lives too. It all comes down to our personal values… are we really inherently unfaithful? Or are we just turning to these technologies to make our lives a lot more exciting? If you’re tempted to cheat, will you give in, or will you try to resist? We all have a choice.

Have you ever been tempted to cheat using technology?

Copyright©2008angel

It’s amazing how wrong you can be about a person. You think you already know them so well, but you’ll just be surprised one day when they suddenly show certain qualities that you never even thought they had.

I learned this the hard way recently with someone important in my life. After years of knowing this person, I thought I already know him. I thought I knew his quirks, his whole personality. But boy, was I wrong. I didn’t even see it coming. To be honest, I have such a hard time dealing with this newly revealed side of his personality, we clashed… I thought I could find a way to adjust to this side of him, but it’s just so hard. I tried, believe me…. it’s definitely not for lack of trying. But no matter what I do, I couldn’t penetrate his defenses.

Although I didn’t see him less of a person because of what I discovered about him, things changed between us. It caused problems in our interactions. It became difficult to talk to him and we’re always fighting because of it. Many times I’m tempted to just give up, to just let him be, instead of trying to fix things, because I’m so fed up with his attitude towards me. But I’m still extending my patience… after all, we shared really good times together and he has become a huge part of my life.

Experiencing this in my life now, I realized that you can never really know a person well enough. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve known them a long time… for a year, 5 years, 10 years or more; even though you’ve known someone your whole life, always expect to be surprised when certain parts of their personality (that you didn’t know before) will be revealed to you. That’s why it’s important to continue getting to know a person even though you think you’ve already got him figured out. Create activities together which would allow you to get to know him more deeply.

Being with someone is a journey and a discovery each and every day. Even couples who have been together for so long can discover new things about each other. You will either be pleasantly surprised or you’ll be hopelessly frustrated. So brace yourself for it.

How well do you think you know your partner?

Copyright©2008angel