I looked at the clock ticking,
I asked myself, what if I can turn back time?

I’ll turn the hands back to 10 minutes ago…
My co-worker came to talk to me about a problem
But I was too irritated… I couldn’t even smile at her.

I’ll turn the hands back to 12 hours ago…
My brother asked for help with homework
But I was too busy… I snapped at him and turned him down.

I’ll turn the hands back to 8 days ago…
My friend came to apologize for a mistake she did
But I was so hurt… I stuck to my pride and turned away.

I’ll turn the hands back to 5 months ago…
My father scolded me for staying out too late at night
But I was so angry… I said hurtful things and walked away.

I’ll turn the hands back to 3 years ago…
I took someone for granted, and now he’s gone,
To a place where I can’t follow…

If only I could turn back the hands of time
If only I could… I’ll do everything right.

Copyright©2008angel

I thought you said it would be you and me forever… I thought you said you’d never leave… You said you’d never stop loving me, and I believed you. But then one day, you walked away… I don’t know what went wrong… I wanted to stop you, but I wasn’t sure I could… or if I even should…

There have been times in the past when you walked away from me but you always came back… But now it’s different… I have this hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach, that this time, you’ll be gone for good… And it hurts… To watch the man I love leaving… To watch my baby walk away from me… But I know you had to…

When you walked away… I felt no bitterness or regret as I slowly watched your back disappear from view… What I felt was bittersweet longing of a love that once was, but never will be again… And now you’re gone to a place where I couldn’t be with you… Where all our memories will, from now on, only be from a distant past… You don’t need me anymore… So I’m letting you go, and I’ll send all my love with you…

Copyright©2008angel

“When these days are gone, when the love you once feel for me slowly fades away, when your smile and laugh is only here as a dream, and when the words ‘I love you’ are scripts of the past, I’ll always have the memories that were once moments, and I’ll always know that no matter what, I got the chance to love you the best way I can.”

It’s been a while… I should say,
But still feels like yesterday…
When you held my hand and touched my face,
When you hugged me close in a warm embrace…
Sometimes I could still hear your laughter,
Ever so slowly, softened into a whisper…
At times, I could still feel your kiss,
As I reminisce the times I so often miss…
I miss our talks and our moments together,
The special times we thought would last forever…
But now you’re gone and I’m left feeling blue,
Can’t deny the fact that I’m missing you…
But as a tear falls from the corner of my eye,
I know I have to stop believing this lie…
Wherever you are, I hope you feel it too,
And know that for always, I’ll miss you…

Copyright©2008angel

This is a poem I’ve written years ago when I was bored and didn’t have anything to do. I was so bummed, and I stopped writing for a while, so I decided to whip up a little something. It’s not about anyone in particular, I don’t even know why it turned out this way, but nevertheless, I think it speaks for itself. Read it and tell me what you think it’s about.

Once again, she’s alone in her room
Pondering about what she is to the world.
She wears a mask, to hide her pain
So no one will see…
She whispers something, but nobody hears her
She begs for freedom, but the world is blind to her pleas
She shouts her love to the world,
But the world is deaf to her cries
Her shouts… barely a ripple…
In a sea of people, judging her and condemning her
What has she done wrong?
All she did was be true to herself
And love unconditionally…
But to the world, her love is worthless
To the world her love is wrong
So what’s the use of hoping?
No one will understand.
So she bows down and gracefully exits.
She has a secret. A beautiful secret.
But no one will ever know.

Copyright©2008angel

Sometimes I wish upon a star
Hoping you’ll come back to me
Wishing you’ll be back in my arms again
Back to the way we used to be

I look at the star, wishing and dreaming
But then I realize it won’t come true
Coz you’re so far away now
Back to a place where I can’t reach you

Sometimes I feel like a child again
Innocent and peaceful, just like the sky
Sometimes I wish I was that child again
And just forget about this pain, this lie…

But like the twinkle of the star
And the moon so bright up above
I can’t control what will happen next
I can’t mend this broken love

So for now, before the sky turns bright
And the stars all lose their light
I’ll blow a kiss in the wind for you
And sleep silently into the night…

Copyright©2008angel

i understand. i didn’t really expect that it will push through anyway. our relationship has too many complications. and as much as i want to be with you, i’ve learned that we can’t really have everything we want. i know that everything happens for a reason, and there are things in life that we can’t control. i can’t force you to do something that you don’t want to do. i thought that loving you was enough, i hoped that my love, OUR love, could make everything right. but i guess it’s not really meant to be. it hurts, but i have to accept it. i wish i could stop loving you, then maybe things will be easier. i knew it was a mistake right from the start. we had the right love at the wrong time. i just don’t know why i held on for so long. maybe because every time i look at you, my heart is filled with so much love that i can’t imagine my life without you. but i guess there comes a time in a person’s life when everything becomes clear. and you realize that there are things that even love can’t conquer. i don’t know where we go from here. but i want you to know that i love you. i will never stop loving you. and maybe, somewhere down the road… our paths will cross again…

(P.S. I wrote this a few months back, intending to give it to my ex, but I didn’t have the courage to do it. So it stays here… where it belongs.)

Copyright©2008angel

I knew there was something special about you
But I didn’t see that the first time I saw you
But somehow in some strange way
I felt a gentle tug in my heart
I don’t know how, I don’t know why
It may be the way you smile
It may be the way you look
Either way, I realized I was beginning to like you
I started wishing… I started dreaming…
The feeling is something I’ve never felt before
It’s a wonderful feeling that sometimes makes me smile
It’s a feeling that makes me all jumpy inside
But it’s also a feeling that makes me want to cry
I’ve watched you from a distance
And I’ve longed for a single smile
But all you ever gave me is longing
My heart aches every time I hear you sing
Coz you sound so beautiful
I feel warm every time I see you smile
My heart beats faster every time you walk by
I don’t wanna say I’m crazy about you
I don’t wanna say I’m falling for you
Coz it hurts to know that I would never mean anything to you
And it hurts even more to know there’s nothing I can do
Sometimes it makes me so sad
But still, I can’t stop thinking of you
I can’t say I love you, I can’t say I do
For I don’t even know you
And even if I wanted to… say a thing or two
There’s no way I can get through
So I guess I’ll just be admiring you from a distance
I can’t even look at you as much as I want to
There are a lot of things I don’t understand
A lot of questions I don’t have answers to
But one thing I know for sure
I may mean nothing to you
But boy, am I glad to know you!
And no matter how stupid this feeling can get
I’m never ashamed to admit it’s true
Coz no matter how hopeless, no matter how painful
God knows I’m happy there’s YOU…

(P.S. This is another one of my writings I was able to dig up. I wrote this poem a long time ago. I had this huge crush on a certain guy, and I don’t know, somehow I just came up with this poem. Looking back at it now, I must admit, I could laugh at myself, it’s kind of embarrassing really. I guess it’s what they call “part of growing up”, huh?)

Copyright©2008angel

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn’t know your parents’ first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it’s not a friendship until after you’ve had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

Author Unknown

I do not define myself by how many roadblocks have appeared in my path.
I define myself by the courage I’ve found to forge new roads.
I do not define myself by how many disappointments I’ve faced.
I define myself by the forgiveness and the faith I have found to begin again.
I do not define myself by how long a relationship lasted.
I define myself by how much I have loved, and been willing to love again.
I do not define myself by how many times I have been knocked down.
I define myself by how many times I have struggled to my feet.
I am not my pain.
I am not my past.
I am that which has emerged from the fire.

Author Unknown 

If I can endure for this minute
Whatever is happening to me,
No matter how heavy my heart is
Or how dark the moment may be-

If I can remain calm and quiet
With all the world crashing about me,
Secure in the knowledge God loves me
When everyone else seems to doubt me-

If I can but keep on believing
What I know in my heart to be true,
That darkness will fade with the morning
And that this will pass away, too-

Then nothing in life can defeat me
For as long as this knowledge remains
I can suffer whatever is happening
For I know God will break all of the chains

That are binding me tight in the darkness
And trying to fill me with fear-
For there is no night without dawning
And I know that my morning is near.

Helen Steiner Rice

I have not a friend left on this planet,
And no place left to go.
All of my life I have wondered what it would be like to lack one of my gifts,
And now I know what it is like to be hated.
To be cast out into the cold and cruel world and ignored by every person whom I may turn to.

To not be wanted…

Now, after all of my time of searching,
I now know what it is like to lack one of my most important gifts.
I now know what it is like to lack…

Friendship.

Morris Lawson

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice then you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I asked, was that you listen not talk or do - just hear me.

Advice is cheap; ten cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper, and I can do for myself; I’m not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.

But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.

And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.

Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.

Perhaps that’s why prayer works, sometimes, for some people because God is mute and he doesn’t give advice or try to fix things.

He “just listens and lets you work it out for yourself.”

So please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn; And I’ll listen to you.

Author Unknown: “Listen” was found in David Bailey and Sharon Dreyer’s book, Care of the mentally ill (1977)