“Can’t we start over again?”

Have you experienced saying these words to someone you love? It’s hard to say goodbye to the one we love. So we do all we can to save our relationships when it’s on the verge of breaking up. It doesn’t hurt so much to the one leaving, but to the one left behind, it’s painful. That’s why we do whatever we can to hold on, to work things out, to make everything right again.

In relationships, there will always be problems and hardships that couples have to experience in order to grow and test their love for each other. And when these problems occur, there’s always the risk of the relationship not being able to pull through, that’s why it results in a breakup. But there are relationships that are resilient and are able to recover from the blow, and as a result, the couple’s love for each other becomes stronger than ever. This takes a lot of effort and commitment on both parties to decide to work things out.

Petty fights and little misunderstandings are part of a normal relationship. But when big problems occur, like cheating, lying big time, family issues, etc., these are capable of ruining the relationship altogether. And after some time, taking into consideration all the hurt and pain that the problem caused, the couple can either decide to start over again or breakup for good.

In the case of a man wanting to leave because he’s had enough or no longer wants to be in the relationship, and the woman is still very much in love and refuses to accept the man’s decision, then she can probably ask for another chance, or ask if they can start all over again. But she has to be ready for the answer. This can work in some cases, but when the mind’s made up and the relationship is beyond repair, there’s no turning back.

Relationships are complicated in the sense that sometimes, it’s not always black and white. Feelings change, situations change, and most importantly, people change. Problems are just precursors, but ultimately, we are the ones who decide. It’s okay to ask for another chance, but after all is said and done, we have to respect our partner’s decision. Because we can’t force someone to feel a certain feeling just because we want them to. We have to be ready to hear the truth and accept it, no matter how difficult. Keep this in mind, the next time you find yourself asking, “Can’t We Start Over Again?”

Will you still hold on when he says “enough”?

Copyright©2008angel

Forgive and forget… this is a popular line used by lots of people especially when giving advice, but it’s not one that is easily followed.

Forgiving someone who has done something hurtful and bad to us is not easy. But it usually can be done, though it may require some time. Even though we’ve forgiven someone for the wrong they’ve done, we can never really forget, at least not completely. Our mind can be sharp when it comes to these things. Especially if someone has hurt us BIG time. We can never really forget the pain and the fact that it has happened to us.

What’s the difference between forgiving and forgetting, anyway? If you’ve forgiven someone, doesn’t it automatically mean that you’re willing to forget everything that happened? What does forgiveness entail? Forgiveness is a process and it may take a long time, some even take forever before the resentment and the anger subsides. Forgiveness means that you choose not to punish that person because of what that person has done to you. But giving forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to forget.

It’s not a matter of holding a grudge, it’s just that once the damage has been done, it can never be undone. It can be improved and healed, yes, but it can never be undone. In other words, you can forgive the person, but you can’t forget what they did. It will stay with you forever, but what changes is how you deal with your emotions. Over time, the pain, disappointment and anger may diminish. It will come to a point wherein it becomes just a distant thought with no more emotional impact. Nevertheless, it will enter your mind… someday, you’ll look back… especially during the times in your life when you’re forced to recall it. But then you’re in control. Because it doesn’t affect you like it used to. And this is when you can say that you’re stronger, because of what you’ve been through and because of what you had to endure.

That’s why I can say that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with remembering. “Forgive, but never forget“. Now, that’s more like it. Wouldn’t you agree?

Do you find it easy to forgive?

Copyright©2008angel

Nowadays, the world has become so advanced in technology… we have cellphones, Internet, e-mails, chat… so many technological inventions are being made. Don’t get me wrong, these are great things and they bring so much convenience to us, but apart from the wonderful benefits that we get from these technological advances, there are certain disadvantages as well. Like for instance, cellphones can be great tools of communication with our loved ones, right? That’s a good thing. But they can also be used for “not-so-wonderful acts” like cheating.

I know a lot of people who are victims of this. A friend of mine cried when she found in her boyfriend’s cellphone a text message from a girl saying “I love you”. She found lots of sweet messages in the guy’s inbox and that’s where she knew that he’s been cheating on her the whole time. Another friend of mine is complaining that when she’s with her man, she gets frustrated because he’s always on his mobile phone, texting… and when she asks who it is he’s talking to, he becomes evasive. Also, he gets furious when she wants to see his cellphone and he gives her a hard time about it, saying that he needs his privacy. Yet another friend of mine found out that her long time boyfriend was cheating on her when she browsed through his chat archives. Yeah… OUCH, right? If this has happened to you too, you’d know how much it hurts.

The thing is, technology has now become another “creative” means to flirt with other people or start and nurture an affair. Many people admit to using technology to fool around and become unfaithful. In other words, it definitely makes cheating a lot easier. With this reality, how are we supposed to trust each other anymore? It’s sad because this trend is becoming predominant in our society today. It’s scary, really.

Especially when you think you know somebody so well, and you trust that person completely, just to discover him flirting with someone else in the chat room or through text messaging. See, even to the most faithful person, the ease of communication that technology brings can be a real temptation. Anyway, who would know right? Chatting is so easy, you can just flirt away when your partner is not around. Or texting can be done anytime anywhere, right? It’s a very tempting thing to do with someone, especially one that you’re strongly attracted to. And it can be instrumental in the conception of an affair that is capable of ruining most relationships.

I guess no matter what we do, we can’t ever really put a stop to this trend. It will always be present, and the only thing we can really do is be careful and just be a wonderful partner to the person in our life. If he cheats, then it’s his conscience that’s on the line, not yours.

Life and love is complicated, and we can never really explain it’s every intricacy. Life can be unfair too, so it’s up to us how we use every situation to our advantage. Technology can make cheating easier, but we all still have a choice. It all comes down to whether or not we will allow a certain device to ruin our principles, and yes, our lives too. It all comes down to our personal values… are we really inherently unfaithful? Or are we just turning to these technologies to make our lives a lot more exciting? If you’re tempted to cheat, will you give in, or will you try to resist? We all have a choice.

Have you ever been tempted to cheat using technology?

Copyright©2008angel

Many of my readers have written to me about forbidden love, and I thought to myself it’s sad that this is a prevailing situation among lovers. It’s hard enough to find someone in this crazy world, but to have that someone belong to someone else, that makes it even more heartbreaking.

“Why would I fall in love with this person when he’s not meant for me after all?” “Why would I cry and long for someone who can never be mine?” This is usually what people in forbidden relationships ask themselves. Unrequited love is hard enough, but what about if the one you love, DOES love you back but then you can never be together because he/she belongs to someone else… now that’s even more painful.

Some people continue living their lives just loving this one person even though they know there’s not a chance on earth that they’ll live happily ever after. But what are you supposed to do when you’re in love with someone who can never be yours? Just forget all about what you feel and move on? It’s easier said than done, obviously, but then what other choice do you have?

Forbidden love is wrong in the eyes of the world and of course, the Church. But is it wrong to love? Or it only becomes wrong when you hurt someone because of it? Can you really control your feelings for someone? Maybe your mind can override your heart and then you can force yourself to do what’s right, but can it really make the feelings of love go away? Maybe in time, yes… maybe in some way, but it’s not going to be easy and it will hurt like hell.

Sometimes, there are people involved in forbidden love who can fight for their feelings. They can choose to end their relationships with their current partners and be with another person. But most people are not able to fight for their love. And this is something that they both have to live with for the rest of their lives. There are so many factors involved, it’s not always a “you and me against the world” type of attitude. The reality of life is far different from the world of dreams or fantasies, after all.

So it all comes down to this: do you pursue a forbidden relationship, or walk away from it? Will you go through with it even though it’s wrong, or will you do the right thing and sacrifice your feelings? Either way, forbidden love is painful. And so many people are victims of this. If only we can be with the person we love and who loves us back, the world would be a safer place and there will be less heartaches. But it’s not as easy as we would want it to be, and I guess we all just have to live with these realities.

What’s your stand on forbidden love?

Copyright©2008angel

What about those people who wake up one day just to realize that they’re no longer in love with the one they’re with. Have you ever experienced this? You found someone, you fell head over heels in love, and then one day, you’ll just realize the feeling isn’t there anymore. What’s up with that?

Is love really fleeting? Is it an emotion that is there for some time and then just disappears at a certain time? Or maybe it isn’t love at all to begin with? Why are there so many broken hearts and so many love lost… if it’s true love, does it really have to end?

In all honesty, I don’t have the answers to any of these questions. I guess no one can really know the answer for sure. After all, we’re all just human beings in search of true love, in search of that one person who will love us and grow old with us… that one person that God intends to be our perfect match. But most people never find their perfect match in their lifetime. It’s all just a string of painful broken hearts consisting of a bucketful of tears and an endless cycle of loving and getting hurt.

Just like in Natalie Cole’s song “Someone That I Used To Love“, the lyrics goes like this, “Wish it was enough for you, all the love I have to give… I did my best to keep you satisfied. I guess you’ll never know how much I tried, I really tried. Once I had so much to give, but you just refused my love. Though you’re someone in this world that I’ll always choose to love. From now on, you’re only someone that I used to love.”

When we love, it always entails taking some kind of risk. We risk getting hurt, we risk our happiness, our hearts, emotions… and then when it doesn’t work out, we grieve over it and then get up and try again. But do we ever really lose that feeling we once had for someone that we loved so much? Or is it simply a change of heart? Maybe we lose the attraction, that’s why we think that the love is no longer there anymore. But regardless of the reason, there’s always the risk of losing the powerful feelings that we once felt for a person after some time. And when that happens, we deal with it the best way we know how, and then move on. Some people go away, some people stay.

My belief is that, when you really truly loved a person (and I’m not talking about just being attracted to the person), even though your relationship didn’t work out, a part of you will always love that person, no matter what. Maybe the intensity will dissipate overtime, but nevertheless, it’s still there. Maybe buried deep inside, but still there. Maybe it transferred or switched to some other level, but the love is still there. Because true love never really dies.

What is true love for you?

Copyright©2008angel

Have you ever had someone cheat on you? Have you ever loved someone, trusted him, worked hard to build a good relationship with him, and then one day you just found out he has another girl behind your back?

Men are considered to be the sex that is more prone to cheating. Statistics and society tells us that. But why do they do it really? Why do men cheat? Is it because their girlfriends or wives are not enough? Are they looking for some other kind of fulfillment that they can’t find in their partners? Do they cheat because they fell out of love perhaps? Or are they just in it for the thrill?

Regardless of the reason, cheating is very wrong and shouldn’t be tolerated. I may be a conservative at heart, but I believe no sane and decent woman out there would want the man that they love to cheat on them. It’s not just being unfaithful emotionally, but also physically. Men often engage in sex with other women, and say, “Well, it’s just sex. I still love my wife/girlfriend, this doesn’t change that. It’s just sex. No big deal.” That might be their logic, but the thing is, it’s still cheating, and it’s still wrong.

My heart goes out to all the women out there who have worked so hard in a relationship, given their men so much… their love, their soul, their support, just to be slapped with the discovery that their men could still afford to cheat on them. The love is there, yes, their men do love them, but the question is, if the love is real, why engage in sexual activities with another woman? Is it because they’re not satisfied in bed with their steady partners?

What if the sex is great, and the wife/girlfriend is left wondering why he still went ahead and slept around even though she feels she’s given him the best already? How can one explain that? Is it just because men are wired that way? It makes me wonder, is there even something that women can do to keep the men in their lives from cheating on them? Or should they just accept the harsh reality that men will always be polygamous and will always stray?

In all fairness, I think there are still men out there that remain faithful to their wives and girlfriends. But alas, they’re a minority. Unfortunately, there’s just a small percentage of them left. And for women who are lucky enough to catch these guys, you are blessed, so hold on to these wonderful men and take care of them because they’re rare nowadays. Yeah, it’s the sad truth.

Copyright©2008angel

Pain In My Heart is one of my favorite songs ever since I was a kid. The first time I heard this, I didn’t even know anything about love. So it wasn’t even about the lyrics, at first. I remember I was too young to relate to the song. I just liked the melody and somehow it stuck with me. As I grew older, I started to understand the lyrics, and having experienced love myself, I learned to appreciate the words of the song.

It’s a very sad song, I think you have to experience being heartbroken to fully realize the sadness that it conveys. If you’ve never nursed a broken heart, then you probably won’t be able to appreciate the real meaning of it. But if you’ve lost a love, I think you’ll find the lyrics and melody piercing. It may even make you cry. It’s about pain, loss, and longing.

The original artist is Second Wind, but it has been revived by various artists. It’s a good thing actually, coz when I knew this song, not a lot of people really knew it then. Now, it’s quite popular and I’m sure there are lots of people who have gotten themselves attached to it somehow. I really love it, and having experienced a heartbreak myself, this song is always present in my play list. Here’s the lyrics:

Here I am alone in this empty room
And let my mind just fly you to the end
Thoughts of you still linger in my memory
Wondering why my life is not that fair
I could still recall those memories of you
The joy and all your laughter
The love that we’ve been through
Oh, I can’t believe you’re gone, oh no…

Talking to myself for reasons I should find
Finding out why everything went wrong
Tears falling down my cheeks
That I’ve been trying to hold
I just don’t know if I could still go on
I wanted you to stay, the tears begin to show
You said you cared for me, but then you had to go
And now I know you’re gone

But I don’t want to remember
The things we used to do
And all the things that remind me of you
I don’t want to hear the songs
The songs we used to sing
Coz I don’t wanna feel the pain in my heart

I just can’t believe you’re gone…

I thought you said it would be you and me forever… I thought you said you’d never leave… You said you’d never stop loving me, and I believed you. But then one day, you walked away… I don’t know what went wrong… I wanted to stop you, but I wasn’t sure I could… or if I even should…

There have been times in the past when you walked away from me but you always came back… But now it’s different… I have this hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach, that this time, you’ll be gone for good… And it hurts… To watch the man I love leaving… To watch my baby walk away from me… But I know you had to…

When you walked away… I felt no bitterness or regret as I slowly watched your back disappear from view… What I felt was bittersweet longing of a love that once was, but never will be again… And now you’re gone to a place where I couldn’t be with you… Where all our memories will, from now on, only be from a distant past… You don’t need me anymore… So I’m letting you go, and I’ll send all my love with you…

Copyright©2008angel

“When these days are gone, when the love you once feel for me slowly fades away, when your smile and laugh is only here as a dream, and when the words ‘I love you’ are scripts of the past, I’ll always have the memories that were once moments, and I’ll always know that no matter what, I got the chance to love you the best way I can.”

It’s been a while… I should say,
But still feels like yesterday…
When you held my hand and touched my face,
When you hugged me close in a warm embrace…
Sometimes I could still hear your laughter,
Ever so slowly, softened into a whisper…
At times, I could still feel your kiss,
As I reminisce the times I so often miss…
I miss our talks and our moments together,
The special times we thought would last forever…
But now you’re gone and I’m left feeling blue,
Can’t deny the fact that I’m missing you…
But as a tear falls from the corner of my eye,
I know I have to stop believing this lie…
Wherever you are, I hope you feel it too,
And know that for always, I’ll miss you…

Copyright©2008angel

You made a mistake, and it hurts, but I’ve already forgiven you. During those days when we weren’t talking, I was able to do some self reflection, and I did a lot of thinking… and I realized that I’ve become too emotionally dependent on you and I know that it’s not fair. I guess I was just so happy with you, that I didn’t realize we both need to grow too. I thought I couldn’t live without you, but I realize now that I don’t really need a man to complete me. You broke my heart, and I became stronger because of it. I rediscovered my self worth, and that’s what I need to remember and keep reminding myself about, so that I can start picking up the pieces and start a new life for myself… without you.

Copyright©2008angel

This is a poem I’ve written years ago when I was bored and didn’t have anything to do. I was so bummed, and I stopped writing for a while, so I decided to whip up a little something. It’s not about anyone in particular, I don’t even know why it turned out this way, but nevertheless, I think it speaks for itself. Read it and tell me what you think it’s about.

Once again, she’s alone in her room
Pondering about what she is to the world.
She wears a mask, to hide her pain
So no one will see…
She whispers something, but nobody hears her
She begs for freedom, but the world is blind to her pleas
She shouts her love to the world,
But the world is deaf to her cries
Her shouts… barely a ripple…
In a sea of people, judging her and condemning her
What has she done wrong?
All she did was be true to herself
And love unconditionally…
But to the world, her love is worthless
To the world her love is wrong
So what’s the use of hoping?
No one will understand.
So she bows down and gracefully exits.
She has a secret. A beautiful secret.
But no one will ever know.

Copyright©2008angel