You know what’s sad about love? It’s when you happen to know that there’s just no hope for you to be together yet you still pray to make it work. It’s when your mind says let go but your heart says hold on. It’s when you dream of that person almost every night only to wake up in the morning with tears in your eyes. And most of all, it’s when no matter how you try to forget that person, you just can’t… ’cause of the fact that you love that person and you just don’t know why.

Love is much like a tattoo. You take the risk, face the pain and place it on a special part of you. And when the time comes when you need to erase it, you have to endure the pain again and realize that it will forever leave a scar, a scar that will always remind you that you had a tattoo that once symbolized something so special.

Moving on from a heartbreak is bittersweet. It’s a mixture of pain, sadness, longing, relief, exhaustion, hopefulness and a sense of freedom. There are a lot of things that we could learn from a heartbreak, if only we allow ourselves to really look deep down and uncover these lessons. For one thing, I’ve learned to NEVER EVER take myself for granted. No matter how much we love someone, we should never lose ourselves in the relationship. We should always retain our sense of self, so that no matter what happens, we we are still intact. Love is beautiful, love is also complicated. But we should never ever give up on it!

Love is a “message”. And it is brought to us by “messengers”, or the people who come into our lives that love us and we feel love for. When the message of love comes to us, we should receive it with open hearts. But when it decides to leave, we should also set it free. Don’t mistake the “messenger” with the “message”. Because messengers are only humans; they make mistakes, they leave, they even die. But the MESSAGE remains. It was brought to us, and it will always be THERE, resounding in our hearts for the rest of our lives. We just have to open our hearts and hear the message.

When love decides to leave, it has nothing to do with you and me as a person. We are no less than who we are just because love decides to leave. Yes, we cry over it and grieve its departure, but after the grieving process, we should celebrate. Let’s celebrate because the message CAME to us, we felt the love, the happiness, the joy. We have learned what we have to learn. It has done it’s purpose and now we have to set it free. This is what MOVING ON means.

Excerpts from the book Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris:

The evil in our desire typically does not lie in what we want, but in that we want it too much. God mercifully uses the difficult experience of having this desire denied to show us that we want it too much. We should just trust in God for our ultimate satisfaction.

Letting go of relationships is not easy, especially if the emotional attachments are strong. Can we change our feelings and emotions? Yes, we can. But first we need to change the way we think about the person. Then our emotions and feelings will follow.

Clair says, “For two years I’d been thinking of him as my potential husband rather than a brother in the Lord. I had to renew my thinking and release my ‘claim’ on him. When feelings for him would resurface, I could usually pinpoint the cause as wrong thinking.”

Things didn’t change overnight, but slowly Claire’s feelings for him subsided. “God used that time to teach me to trust Him with my heart - to believe that if the relationship with this person wan’t his plan, He would help take it away and change my heart. And He did. He took the feelings away.”

(Philippians 4:6-7) Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

“God, I don’t want to be anxious about this area of my life. I present my requests to you. But I’m trusting Your Word, which says that Your peace, which transcends understanding, will guard my heart. I want Your peace, not the peace I attempt to create.”

If we just allow God, He will change us. Even though we’re not aware of it, even though we feel sometimes that our life is on hold, God is steadily doing an important work in our hearts. We should grow to trust God more than our own meticulous planning. We should bring our requests to God with joy and thankfulness instead of desperation or complaining.

I realized I’ve been going through this the wrong way. Instead of trying to fix him, I should try to fix myself first and the way I think. I know that now. I have to stop worrying and scaring myself and wondering what would happen if I lost him. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve already lost him. The guy I loved is not the same guy anymore. Things have changed between us and I know there’s nothing more I could do if we’re not really meant to be together.

I’ve been beating myself up these past few months, blaming myself for the breakup (which I initiated after all), and wondering whether I did the right thing or not… analyzing whether my decision was right after all. I know I’ve said in the past that I’m well on my way to moving on for good. I guess I was wrong. And it took a big jolt to make me realize that. The truth is, I can’t truly MOVE ON, because part of me is still holding on. Holding on to the what if’s and what could have been’s.

I’ve been so used to having him around all the time and communicating with him almost everyday. I know I need to get used to not having him around anymore. I need to STOP expecting and hoping, and I need to get over the sadness of missing him. It’s hard, especially when there’s always the longing to talk to him, to see him, to be with him. I know I have to change the way I think, I have to change the way I’m seeing things.

He’s not the problem here, I am. I feel like my whole world revolved around the relationship, that I neglected myself along the way. I forgot who I really am. I need to heal. I need to start picking up the pieces. I need to fix myself in order to be whole again. Then and only then, can I truly move on and someday, maybe love again.

I don’t want to be jealous. I don’t want to feel this nagging pain in my heart. I’m trying really hard right now to think differently. To condition my mind that I can’t be the jealous ex. I need to accept the fact that he’s moved on apparently, and I have to do the same. I have to stop feeling this way. I have to embrace my new role in his life now. I am nothing more than a friend to him now, and I should act that way. I should just be happy for him that he’s moving on and he found someone new.

I guess I didn’t expect to feel this way. I thought it would be okay if I see him with another girl, since I should be getting over him now. It just sucks. I hate this feeling. What do you think I should do to stop jealousy on its tracks? Every time I think about it, it hurts. Oh man, when will this be over?