To my Father, Brother, Best Friend, and Savior…

I’m taking this chance to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. No words can describe how grateful I am that you’re with me. All through my life, you never left my side, through the good times and the bad. I’ve been through so much, been through a lot of hurt and miserable moments, and through all that, you’ve helped me overcome my fears, my doubts, my weaknesses. I never could have done it without you. You helped me realize my worth, you made me feel that I am loved, no matter what.

Thank you so much… there have been times when I thought I couldn’t take the pain anymore, there were times when I felt I could no longer stand the loneliness, but you were there to comfort me and tell me that everything is going to be all right. Through wonderful people and things, you reached out to me and reminded me that life goes on. Because of you, I saw that life is worth living, that there’s still so much in store for me, that I shouldn’t waste my life in unimportant things. You taught me how to TRUST, and you strengthened my FAITH. It wasn’t easy, but I did it. I did it because you were there… you held my hand… and that was all I needed.

I’m so BLESSED to have you. Thank you for protecting my heart, I feel so at peace when I know that you’re in control. I don’t ever wanna be without you. Thank you for using me for your glory. I love you so much.

With all my heart,
Angel

I saw this TV show the other day about friendship, and it was so heartwarming I cried. It was a true story of a man who discovered friendship in an unlikely way. He took pity in a homeless person on the street, so he helped him, gave him money and spent time with him… and this compassion led to a relationship wherein he was able to treat this person as his own brother. He learned to trust him, he believed in him and he even taught him to read and write. He even influenced him to stay away from the “gang” that was always dragging him along crime sprees.

But their friendship was put to a huge test when he arrived one day at his home and found his room ransacked. He was told that the one responsible was the “gang” and that his friend was seen with them. He couldn’t take it, he was heartbroken and he felt betrayed. He rushed to the precinct where they were contained, and expressed his disappointment and anger. His friend told him he didn’t have a choice, because they were threatening him that if he didn’t go with them, they will hurt the friend that took him away from them in the first place… HIM. Which was the truth really. But he didn’t believe him, he was so angry. The scene was so heartbreaking. The pain of betrayal. I could almost feel it.

One night, he was walking home when the gang ambushed him and one was about to stab him with a knife. Well, guess what happened? His friend took the blow instead. He dived out of nowhere, and he was the one stabbed instead. He died. With the death of his friend, he wondered, what would have happened if he had given his friend another chance. Things might have turned out differently. But too late, his friend died saving his life.

After watching the show, it made me think. There really ARE people out there who are willing to die for a friend. Imagine yourself taking a bullet to save a friend’s life. I mean, it’s not something EVERYONE can do. Would you do that for someone? Or rather, do you have someone in your life, a friend… that you’re willing to die for? It once again made me realize how amazing TRUE and UNCONDITIONAL friendship can be. It’s even worth dying for.

Do you have a friend worth dying for?

Copyright©2008angel

My brother gave me a YouTube link this morning, saying I have to watch it because it’s the best video he’s ever seen. I was intrigued by his intro, so I watched the clip. Guess what, it sent goosebumps all over my body! This story has become so popular and is all over the Internet so I’m sure most of you might have come across this months ago, but it only just reached me now, and I felt compelled to post it here to share it with those who haven’t seen it yet.

It’s a story about an exceptional lion raised by two young Australian men, John Rendall and Ace Berg. They bought the lion cub from a store, they saw it was cramped and lonely in his cage, so they decided to bring the poor little guy home. They raised him as a pet, named him Christian, and it was the start of an amazing friendship and loyalty among the three. But when Christian grew bigger, they didn’t have a choice but to release him back into the wild. So they enlisted the help of George Adamson, the known “Father Of Lions“ and after some time, though it wasn’t easy, they were able to release Christian successfully into the wild.

After a year, Christian got accustomed to life in the wild and was even leader of their pride. John and Ace decided to visit him again, and despite warnings from George, that Christian might not recognize them anymore, they went ahead and sought their beloved lion. So what happened, you ask? Well, if you don’t know… you go find out for yourself by watching the video.

It’s such a heartwarming story about friendship, and how even a vicious animal like a lion is capable of love and affection. I have to admit, I was nearly moved to tears when I watched the video. If you haven’t heard of Christian, The Lion… you have to watch the video, and while you’re at it, you can watch the whole documentary dedicated to him too. It’s definitely worth the watch.

Copyright©2008angel

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn’t know your parents’ first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it’s not a friendship until after you’ve had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

Author Unknown

I have not a friend left on this planet,
And no place left to go.
All of my life I have wondered what it would be like to lack one of my gifts,
And now I know what it is like to be hated.
To be cast out into the cold and cruel world and ignored by every person whom I may turn to.

To not be wanted…

Now, after all of my time of searching,
I now know what it is like to lack one of my most important gifts.
I now know what it is like to lack…

Friendship.

Morris Lawson

Let’s say you’ve just broken up with your ex, will you be willing to still be friends with him?

I remember this conversation that I had with my cousin a while back, I remember asking her, “How can you still be friends with your ex? How can you move on, when you still see him and hang out with him?” My cousin just shrugged and told me that it’s just the way it is. They both don’t have hard feelings for each other despite the breakup, so there’s nothing wrong with being friends even though they’re not “together” anymore.

For me, personally, I think there’s nothing wrong with being friends after a breakup. If two people have parted in good terms, what’s to keep them from being friends, right? I mean after all, they do have history, they’ve become lovers and even though that didn’t work out, they still like each other’s company and that’s definitely reason enough to stay as friends. But for bitter breakups or relationships that have ended badly, it’s a lot more difficult.

Usually, people refuse to stay friends with their ex because they’ve been hurt. It may be because they didn’t want the relationship to end in the first place, but unfortunately it has… and they’re just learning to deal with it. As much as possible, they would want to avoid their ex and not be reminded of what used to be, in order for them to really move on. Or maybe, the relationship just ended with both parties hating each other, thus, there’s no possibility for continuing friendship.

It’s also difficult to remain friends when you’re still in love with your ex. I mean, how can you be contented with just being “friends”, right? Every time you see that person, there will always be that longing… deep inside you’re hoping that you’re back together again. So instead of going through even more hurt, you opt not to see that person again, so you could truly move on with your life and find someone new.

There are lots of reasons why people don’t want to be friends with their ex. But in reality, there ARE in fact ex-lovers that end up being friends even right after their breakup. In my opinion, these are relationships that just died a natural death. Meaning, both parties have decided that it’s time for the relationship to end, or maybe both parties feel that they’re better off as friends. Whatever reason they may have, both have accepted the facts and they’re both ready to move on.

I think if I have to answer this question myself, I would say, “It depends.” If the moving on process is hard enough, then maybe in the beginning, I would give myself time to adjust and I won’t have any contact with my ex at all. Getting over someone is hard if you never wanted the relationship to end in the first place. And having him around all the time, when I’m trying to move on, only makes it even harder. I think separating myself away from him for a considerable amount of time, will do the trick. Then when I feel that I’ve truly moved on, and I’m ready to face him again, then maybe we can be friends. After all, I’ve cared about this person once, his friendship would be valuable to me. But of course, it will happen in due time.

How about you, can you be friends with your ex?

Copyright©2008angel

When was the last time you hugged someone, and really meant it?

Oftentimes, we take for granted the power of a hug. It’s something that is free, but we don’t give it out often enough. Hugs have been increasingly diminishing in frequency these days, people don’t really have a second to spare to hug someone they love anymore. This is so sad, because a hug can really do so much. It can ease a person’s suffering, it can soothe a person’s feelings, it can make a person feel loved and special, it can calm a person’s fears, the list goes on! I can’t tell you enough how beneficial a hug can be if given sincerely.

Most people limit their hugs only to a partner, or a wife/husband. But when was the last time you hugged a friend, or a family member for that matter? Come to think of it, I actually haven’t hugged a family member for so long now, it’s scary.

But it’s never too late, you know. A hug is a powerful way of showing affection, and people always need affection (even though sometimes they’re not willing to admit it). Maybe you’re not used to hugging, or you simply don’t want to be seen as weak and sentimental. That’s all right, but you’ll be surprised at what a hug can accomplish. I’m not talking about a superficial hug that is forced and has no emotions behind it. I’m talking about the kind of hug that can be felt not just physically, but emotionally. Not only will the recipient feel it’s effects, you’ll feel them too! And boy, it feels good to receive a sincere hug!

So hug a loved one today, and do it sincerely and often. Never underestimate the power of a hug.

Copyright©2008angel

My mother used to ask me what is the most important part of the body. Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer. When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, “My ears, Mommy.”

She said, “No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon.”

Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her, “Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes.”

She looked at me and told me, “You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind.”

Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, “No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child.”

Then last year, my grandpa died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry. My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final goodbye to Grandpa. She asked me, “Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?”

I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me. She saw the confusion on my face and told me, “This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in our life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson.”

She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, “My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder.”

I asked, “Is it because it holds up my head?”

She replied, “No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it.”

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that that lit up her entire being. She said, “Hi, handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?” I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze. “Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked. She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel.” “No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. “I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and share a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.”

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began: “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. “You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!” “There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change.” “Have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.” She concluded her speech by courageously singing The Rose. She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

I keep my paint brush with me
Wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up
So the real me doesn’t show.
I’m so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of what you’ll do - that
You might laugh or say mean things.
I’m afraid I might lose you.

I’d like to remove all my paint coats
To show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
So if you’ll be patient and close your eyes,
I’ll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.

Now my coats are all stripped off.
I feel naked, bare and cold,
And if you still love me with all that you see,
You are my friend, pure as gold.
I need to save my paint brush, though,
And hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
In case someone doesn’t understand.
So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep my paint brush with me
Until I love me, too.

Friends. A simple word isn’t it? It’s uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren’t that, they’re the people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They’re the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don’t judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You’re tied together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but sweetest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life.