Are you the type of person who gets jealous easily? When you see your boyfriend or girlfriend with someone else, does your brain go into overdrive making you think of negative scenarios? Or are you the type who is very secure in your relationship that you rarely, if ever, get jealous?

What is it that makes us jealous, anyway? Why do we get jealous? Is it because we’re insecure, and we feel threatened and afraid that we’re going to lose the people in our lives to someone else? Or perhaps we want to be in someone else’s shoes (although that sounds more like envy). Anyway, jealousy is one of the most destructive emotions ever, and it’s especially lethal to relationships if not controlled. Of course, we know this already… there are lots of self help books that discuss this. But jealousy is an emotion that can’t be cured by reading self-help books. It can be minimized, yes, and we can even change our reactions to it, but that doesn’t mean that we won’t feel it.

I think one main cause of jealousy, is insecurity. If we are insecure of ourselves, it just goes to show that we are also insecure of our partner’s love for us. So understandably, we get scared that he might find someone else better than us… right? And that’s why we get jealous. We tend to become possessive, and be wary of people who might take our treasure away from us. But can jealousy also help relationships? I think yes, if done in good context and with good reason, because it shows that we love our partners and we care about them. And sometimes it can be flattering too, to know that your boyfriend is jealous of another guy who seems to like you. But if he’s being unreasonable about it, then that’s a different story.

Jealousy is a negative feeling, and if done in excess, it’s one of the most painful and frustrating experiences, not to mention stressful, especially for women who are more emotional than men. It makes you paranoid and restless, with no peace of mind. And who would want to have that kind of feeling, right? So if you’re in a relationship where jealousy is a huge problem, you have to stop and evaluate where your jealousy is coming from, and deal with it right away. How do we do it? One thing we can do is feel good about ourselves, once we are secure of ourselves and secure of our love and relationship with someone, there’s no need to get jealous of others.

It’s important to curb jealousy early on in the relationship before it’s too late, because it just might save your relationship. You have to do this not only for yourself but for your partner as well. Remember, you are in control. Control your jealousy, don’t let your jealousy control you.

What do you do when you get jealous?

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