I knew there was something special about you
But I didn’t see that the first time I saw you
But somehow in some strange way
I felt a gentle tug in my heart
I don’t know how, I don’t know why
It may be the way you smile
It may be the way you look
Either way, I realized I was beginning to like you
I started wishing… I started dreaming…
The feeling is something I’ve never felt before
It’s a wonderful feeling that sometimes makes me smile
It’s a feeling that makes me all jumpy inside
But it’s also a feeling that makes me want to cry
I’ve watched you from a distance
And I’ve longed for a single smile
But all you ever gave me is longing
I feel warm every time I see you smile
My heart beats faster every time you walk by
I don’t wanna say I’m crazy about you
I don’t wanna say I’m falling for you
Coz it hurts to know that I would never mean anything to you
Sometimes it makes me so sad
But still, I can’t stop thinking of you
I can’t say I love you, I can’t say I do
For I don’t even know you
And even if I wanted to… say a thing or two
There’s no way I can get through
So I guess I’ll just be admiring you from a distance
I can’t even look at you as much as I want to
There are a lot of things I don’t understand
A lot of questions I don’t have answers to
But one thing I know for sure
I may mean nothing to you
But boy, am I glad to know you!
And no matter how stupid this feeling can get
I’m never ashamed to admit it’s true
Coz no matter how hopeless, no matter how painful
God knows I’m happy there’s YOU…

(P.S. This is another one of my writings I was able to dig up. I wrote this poem a long time ago. I had this crush on a certain guy, and I don’t know, somehow I just came up with this poem. Looking back at it now, I must admit, I could laugh at myself, it’s kind of embarrassing really. I guess it’s what they call “part of growing up”, huh?)

Copyright©2008angel

(Got this in my email today, thought I’d share it here…)

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back -
1. Time
2. Words
3. Opportunity

Three things in life that can destroy a person -
1. Anger
2. Pride
3. Unforgiveness

Three things in life that you should never lose-
1. Hope
2. Peace
3. Honesty

Three things in life that are most valuable -
1. Love
2. Family
3. Friends

Three things in life that are never certain -
1. Fortune
2. Success
3. Dreams

Three things that make a person -
1. Commitment
2. Sincerity
3. Hard work

Three things that are truly constant -
Father - Son - Holy Spirit

I ask the Lord to bless you, as I pray for you today; to guide you and protect you, as you go along your way. God’s love is always with you, God’s promises are true. And when you give God all your cares, you know God will see you through.

Author Unknown 

I woke up with a nice feeling this morning. These past few weeks have been a drag for me, but lately, I’m starting to feel better again, my heart feels a lot lighter.

There are quite a few things I realized recently. For one thing, I realized that life is too precious to spend feeling sorry for myself, or to constantly ponder on things that I don’t have the power to change anyway. I realized that sometimes, something will spiral out of control, and even though I never really expected it to happen, I’ll just see it unraveling before my very eyes, and I can’t do anything to stop it. I realized that even though there are some things that I wished I could have done differently, it’s no use agonizing over it, because it’s already happened.

I’ve been through a lot in my life, I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I’ve pushed through somehow (I couldn’t have done it without God’s help, of course). I’ve been through a lot of pain and heartaches, but I’ve also experienced love, happiness, and joy along with the not-so-good things. And those were the moments that I wouldn’t trade for anything else.

Today, I realized that even if I were given a chance to go back, if I could turn back time, I would be willing to go through them again. I might have a few regrets, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I am who I am now because of what I’ve been through. At the end of the day, what’s really important is that I have learned my lessons and I could move on with my life armed with those lessons, and become a better person because of them.

Most people have so many regrets that if only they could turn back time, they would change a lot of things. But for me, thinking about it now, even if I have to go through all the “bad things” again to experience the good, I think I most definitely would. It might sound kind of masochistic to some, but life isn’t just all about the beautiful things, you know. We have to experience the bad, to appreciate the good. After all, they’re both part of life, right?

I know those wonderful memories will only be in the past now, but I’ll be looking back at them with smiles, and I will treasure those memories forever.

Copyright©2008angel

First love… first broken heart… they say you’ll never really understand and know love fully unless you’ve had your heart broken.

All your friends say it’s going to be okay, that it will only hurt in the beginning… that it will only get better from now on, but your heart is telling you otherwise. It makes you wish you were back as a child so you wouldn’t have to deal with the painful loss of love. But then the reality is, you’re no longer a child. You realize you’ve grown into a woman. You fell in love, you were happier than you’ve ever been in your life, and then one day, you’ll just realize it’s all over. The love that person feels for you is no longer there, and you’re left feeling rejected and empty.

Some people have honestly never experienced a broken heart, they’ve never experienced the pain, regret, fear, and longing that comes along with it. They say the first broken heart is more painful and takes a longer time to heal. Well, it may be due to the fact that it’s your first ever taste of a love lost. They say that the second time, third time, or the umpteenth time wouldn’t be so hard because you’ve already experienced it. For me, it depends on the length and depth of the relationship. The more in love you are with the person, the more painful it is to lose that person.

In my opinion, no matter how many times you’ve had you’re heart broken, regardless of the level and intensity of the pain, it is still in fact PAINFUL. Losing someone you love is always painful, unless you have a heart of stone.

When I first had my heart broken, I felt like my whole world was crashing in on me. I didn’t know what to do, or how to deal with the new, overwhelming emotion. It was painful. But I had to accept the fact that sometimes, love changes. And I’ve had to slowly pick up the pieces and start over again. And no matter how many words of encouragement people gave me, and even though I knew they’re right, it wasn’t easy to shake off the fears and the loneliness of losing someone that has been part of my life for so long.

But hey, life goes on… with or without that person. It’s painful and unfair, but I know I have to push past that and learn to move on with my life. It’s not going to be easy, but I have to do it. And I know I can do it too, because I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason, and when one door of happiness closes, another opens. I’ll just have to learn to trust God, and have faith that He has something better for me. Experiences like this can only make me stronger, and more mature.

Do you remember what it was like with your first broken heart?

Copyright©2008angel

A friend of mine recently moved to Southern US and she called me yesterday to update me with what’s been going on in her life. It was great to hear from her because we could catch up and I really wanted to ask how the move was affecting her so far. I imagined she would be pretty devastated leaving her old house and moving to a different place, but when I spoke to her, she was actually excited! She was raving about how she was ready to explore her new place and anxious to meet a great redneck.

I have to say this friend of mine is a dating machine, she is a very friendly person and she just loves dating and meeting new people. When I asked her how her love life was, she was more than enthusiastic to fill me in. She said she met this cute redneck in an online dating site called RedneckAndSingle.com, and they were hitting it off. I was interested obviously, because I’ve never really tried online dating before and I was doubtful that it would work. But she told me it was more than just a dating site, it’s actually more of a community of NASCAR loving rednecks and she really enjoyed being part of it.

She told me it was a unique website where people are free to browse profiles to find a suitable redneck for them. But she also said it was for exclusive members and not a shared database, meaning one has to register as a member to be able to contact other people and flirt. I was intrigued, so I visited the site myself, and I have to say it’s pretty cool. I certainly do hope my friend will be able to find someone there that she’ll fall in love with, so she can settle already! Just between you and me, she’s not getting any younger… and I think it’s time to settle down with a nice man, don’t you think?

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn’t know your parents’ first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it’s not a friendship until after you’ve had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

Author Unknown

I happened to read this great book today, entitled “Who Moved My Cheese?” and I have to say it really made my day. It’s a motivational book written by Spencer Johnson about dealing with CHANGE in our work and in our personal life. It’s a fairly short book with only 96 pages, you can actually read it in an hour or so. A friend of mine suggested I read it, and I’m so glad I did, because I learned a lot! I can totally relate to the story.The story revolves around 4 characters, two mice named “Sniff” and “Scurry”, and two little people, “Hem” and “Haw”. They live in a maze and are constantly looking for cheese (a representation of happiness and success). The story reveals profound truths about CHANGE and the different reactions of each of the characters. Actually, after I finished reading, I could say that I’m been more like “Hem” in the story, who’s resistant to change and refuses to get out of his comfort zone.

You have to read the story for yourself to appreciate its meaning. I highly recommend this book to anyone, even if you’re already open to change or has been resisting it all your life, you can benefit from the simple but wonderful truths this book has to offer. It’s a beautifully written story, in a very simple context, but the message and lessons you get are remarkably clear.

Here are the footnotes I’ve jotted down while reading the book. These are the things I want to remember and remind myself often:

• When you’re afraid to change, you are holding on to the illusion of something that’s no longer there.
• When you can laugh at the wrong things you’ve been doing, that’s the time you’re ready for change. The fastest way to change is to laugh at your own folly — then you can let go and move on.
• Sometimes, things change and they are never the same again. That’s life! Life moves on. And so should we.
• Think about what you could gain instead of what you’re losing.
• Whenever you start to get discouraged, remind yourself that what you’re doing, as uncomfortable as it is at the moment, is in reality much better than staying in the cheeseless situation.
• Fears only make things worse. Ask yourself, “what would you do if you weren’t afraid?” Let go and trust what lies ahead, even though you don’t know exactly what it is.
• When you’re not afraid, you feel good!

I urge you to get this book, and read it if you want to experience a profound change in perspective. The challenge is to be able to interpret the story and apply it to your own life. If you’ve read the book, please do share your insights. I’d love to hear your opinions.

• Some people say that you don’t know what you have until you lose it, but it’s not like that. You always know what you have, you just never thought you would lose it.

• Sometimes no matter how much you miss someone it’s still wiser not to have that person… back again.

• Hearts are easily torn but can also be sown together by someone who cares. Though the scars won’t fade, the stitches will always be there to remind you that someone loves you enough to keep you whole again.

• Goodbyes make you think. They make you realize what you’ve had, what you’ve lost and what you’ve taken for granted. They make you realize that sometimes, there are no next times, no time outs and no second chances.

• It’s okay to cry as hard and as long as you want to. Just make sure that when you stop crying, you won’t cry for the same reason anymore.

• It’s not easy letting go of someone you’ve put everything into. But it’s harder to realize later on that you’ve been holding on to something that wasn’t there… anymore.

• What make us a fool? When it hurts to see the one we love with somebody else, but still, we keep on staring.

• How can we love people who don’t seem to make things worth at all? Why do we become so numb caring for people whom at times don’t even think of us in a day or two? Why do we let ourselves hurt and continue hoping for a love that makes us defenseless? And why do we prioritize these people who only choose us as options? Are these the reasons why sometimes in love we end up losing ourselves? Sad but true…

• Pain is when you can’t breathe even if your chest still rises and falls. Sadness is when you look out the window and think the rain are your tears. Loneliness is when you still feel a hand touching yours even if there’s none. Desperation is when you wait for a message that will never come. Love is when you experience all those things and still open your heart to that someone.

• Don’t be bitter and full of hatred when the one you love doesn’t love you the way you love her/him. Ask, listen and let go. Don’t force yourself to understand when you can’t, to fight hard when obviously it’s over and to play deaf to the nagging truth that what you’ve had doesn’t work and won’t work anymore. Instead, say: “I have loved you more than you think I would, but I feel sorry that you’ve lost your chance to be loved more than you would ever feel in your life after this…”

• In life, we always search for answers because we want to prove ourselves that we had the right decisions but the truth is we can’t search for what is not there. Things happen because it is meant to happen. That’s why we forgive people even if they hurt us, we love people who don’t love us and we smile despite every painful crash in our hearts. At the end of the day, the lesson you get are the answers to your decisions.

• When something is over, don’t always think that it can start again. When it’s broken, you can’t always put back all the pieces… life is not the way you want it to be, when you know that someone is hurting you so much, just stop! It hurts a lot, but you must learn to let go. Don’t’ push yourself too hard, just remember that in every ending, there’s such a thing that we call… beginning.

• Sometimes you need to set things free even though it’s hard. Things may not be the same but soon you’ll see that what you did is far better than before.

• There’s a reason why a heart breaks. It breaks because it needs to be put back together by the right person.

Breaking up and learning to move on when you’re still in love is hard. But when you’ve accepted the fact that you’re relationship is over and you’re willing to pick up the pieces and start over again, you’ll realize that the hardest part is just in the beginning.

When you’re overcome with hurt and pain, it feels like you’re never going to find love again. Or you tell yourself you’ll never find someone as good as your ex or someone you’ll love as much. Some feel like they won’t be able to trust again. It’s all part of the moving on process… the uncertainty, fear, and worry. But it gets easier… as long as you know within yourself that it’s over and you’re not holding on anymore. Moving on is just harder if there’s something that’s holding you back. But if you’ve completely learned to let go, then you’ll be able to go through the healing process, and eventually find another love.

They say the fastest way to get over someone is by focusing on another person. Some say rebound relationships do not work, but others say it’s an effective way to get over a breakup. Regardless, it’s no use moping around for prolonged periods of time, agonizing over a breakup. Sooner or later, you’ll have to get back out there and start finding love again.

For some people, it doesn’t take very long for them to find someone new. For others, it may take a long time. A new love signifies a new start. And it’s always a great feeling, to be able to feel alive again, smile again, laugh again. Ultimately, life takes on a new meaning. Have you ever experienced this?

Copyright©2008angel

Check out these songs about finding a new love…

Effective immediately, please be aware that there are changes YOU need to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill My promises to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in this life. I apologize for any inconvenience, but after all that I am doing, this seems very little to ask of you. Please, follow these 10 reminders:

1. QUIT WORRYING:

Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?

2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:

Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can’t help you until you turn it over to Me. And although My to-do-list is long, I am after all… God. I can take care of anything you put into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.

3. TRUST ME:

Once you’ve given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake, put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.

4. LEAVE IT ALONE:

Don’t wake up one morning and say, “Well, I’m feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here.” Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It’s simple. You gave Me your burdens and I’m taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don’t you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and just let Me do my job.

5. TALK TO ME:

I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I’m in control. But there’s one thing I pray you never forget. Please, don’t forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend.

6. HAVE FAITH:

I see a lot of things from up here that you can’t see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I’m doing. Trust Me; you wouldn’t want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

7. SHARE:

You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven’t heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.

8. BE PATIENT:

I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to-do-list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush.

9. BE KIND:

Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. please try to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical. Please, know I love each of your differences.

10. LOVE YOURSELF:

As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only — to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me. Don’t ever forget. Rather than focus upon the thorns of life, smell the roses and count your blessings!

Author Unknown