When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice then you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I asked, was that you listen not talk or do - just hear me.

Advice is cheap; ten cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper, and I can do for myself; I’m not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.

But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.

And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.

Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.

Perhaps that’s why prayer works, sometimes, for some people because God is mute and he doesn’t give advice or try to fix things.

He “just listens and lets you work it out for yourself.”

So please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn; And I’ll listen to you.

Author Unknown: “Listen” was found in David Bailey and Sharon Dreyer’s book, Care of the mentally ill (1977)

I found the answers in my room.

Roof said: Aim high.
Fan said: Be cool.
Clock said: Every minute is precious.
Mirror said: Reflect before you act.
Window said: See the world.
Calendar said: Be up-to-date.
Door said: Push hard to achieve your goals.

Pretty cool, huh?

Giving up someone you love is probably the hardest thing in the world to do… especially if you’ve been together for so long and you’ve shared so much with each other. You’ve opened up yourself to him, gave much of your effort, time, and energy into the relationship, and then in the end, you’ll just have to give him up. All the memories, wonderful moments you’ve had together, plans, and dreams, you just watch them all go down the drain.

You ask yourself, “Why did I have to fall in love this way, just to give it all up in the end?” “Why did I have to love him this much, if we’re not meant to be?” You’re scared to let go because you’re thinking that you may not find anyone else who will love you the same way he did. You’ve developed emotional dependencies on that person and you can’t imagine your life without him. You know that the relationship is going nowhere, but still, you can’t let go. You try to analyze things and try to come up with solutions that might be able to save your relationship. But nothing seems to work!

Letting go of a love that once made you happy is tough. It’s hard when you’ve been so used to having that person around and you don’t know how to go on without his presence in your life. Days seem to drag by, time slows down, and you feel sad and incomplete. But if you know that a relationship is not working anymore and you’ve tried your best and yet it remains beyond repair, accept it, grieve over it, and then move on. Other women feel so helplessly miserable that they have a tendency to fall apart. Overly emotional women are more prone to this. I know of women who think like this. But this isn’t healthy.

Don’t throw your life away for a guy. Remember the “getting over” process is supposed to be hard and the pain won’t go away that easily. Give yourself time to mourn over the loss and time to heal. After you’ve given yourself enough time, it will get better, trust me. Just keep in mind that you are a beautiful person, and you deserve to be loved. If you can’t find that in the person you’re with right now, then that person is not for you. Learn to accept that fact, and learn to let that person go, so you’ll find the right one for you. It all comes down to courage and determination really. If you’re brave enough to let go, and determined enough to find your real happiness, then you’re ready to move on to experience much greater things in your life.

Don’t tie yourself in a relationship that’s as good as finished. Learn to love yourself, because people in your life may come and go, and the only thing that really stays, is yourself. If you don’t love yourself first and foremost, you won’t be able to love another just as effectively. And if you love yourself, you won’t allow yourself to be stuck in an unfulfilled relationship. You know you deserve more, so get out there and find it! You owe it to yourself.

Copyright©2008angel

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, “Child, you must wait!”

“‘Wait?’, you say, wait!” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By FAITH I have asked, and am claiming your Word.

“My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT?
I’m needing a ‘yes,’ a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.

“And Lord, you promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply!”

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, “You must wait.”
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting. . .for what?”

He seemed then to kneel and His eyes wept with mine,
And he tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.

All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want–but, you wouldn’t know ME.
“You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint;
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint;

You’d not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there;
You’d not know the joy of resting in me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

“You’d never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of my Spirit descends like a dove;
You’d know that I give and I save. . .(for a start),
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of my heart.

“The glow of my comfort late into the night.
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.

“You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that ‘My grace is sufficient for thee.’
Yes, your dreams for your loved ones overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss! if I lost what I’m doing in you!

“So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
THAT THE GREATEST OF GIFTS IS TO GET TO KNOW ME.
And though oft may my answers seem terribly late,
My wisest of answers is still but to WAIT.”

Author Unknown

I could learn how to say “I love you”
In many different languages…
But would it really matter?
When all you really need to do,
Is hold my hand…
And look in my eyes, to know…
You’re all I think of…
I never knew love like this before…

If I speak a certain language,
And you wouldn’t understand,
Would you listen to my heart?
Even for just a second,
Even for just a moment,
Let me just say I love you…
Just hear me say I love you.

Copyright©2008angel

I’m feeling a little bummed today. I guess it’s one of those days when I can’t really figure out what to do. I’m at a point in my life right now where I’m trying to let go of the past and move on. But you know how it is, sometimes we have this tendency to resist change. We’re reluctant to let go of something that we’ve been so used to, and try something else… something new.

Sometimes I have this tendency to cling to things that are comfortable and familiar. I do welcome change, but I’m scared to let go of the old and familiar. It’s an annoying habit, really. I wish sometimes I could just throw cautions to the wind and just do something completely new and out of the ordinary. I think it’s the age-old reason that it’s better to have the old and familiar, than nothing at all. At least, there’s always this safety net that you can fall back in, right?

I know it’s not healthy, and I know life is too precious for me to just “SETTLE”. I’m trying to work through that and to remind myself always that change can be a good thing too. And that life without risks is not worth living anyway. There are days when I’m feeling all revved up and my mind is made up, and I’m ready to take the jump. But other days, it’s not so easy.

Nevertheless, it’s definitely something that I should continue to try to do. Maybe someday I’ll learn to finally let go of the old, and embrace the new. I am so looking forward to it.

How about you… do you have any problems letting go of the old and familiar things in your life? I sure could use some tips.

Copyright©2008angel

A young man was at the end of his rope. Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer. “Lord, I can’t go on,” he said, “I have too heavy of a cross to bear.” The Lord replied, “My son, if you can’t bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish.” The man was filled with relief and said, “Thank you, Lord,” and he did as he was told. Upon entering the other door, he saw many crosses, some so large the tops were not visible. Then, he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall. “I’d like that one, Lord,” he whispered. And the Lord replied, “My son, that is the cross you just brought in.”

When life’s problems seem overwhelming, it helps to look around and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself far more fortunate than you imagined.

• I cried today… not because I missed you or even wanted you but because I finally realized I’m going to be all right without you.

• I can’t escape the thought of you. Even in my dreams you are there. It’s not fair how you’re gone, and how you’re moving on so fast, while I am still living in the past.

• I wish I had the guts to walk away from what we had. But I can’t… because I know you wouldn’t come after me and that’s what hurts the most.

• There’s this place in me where your fingertips still rest… your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo… it’s the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me.

• How can I love again when I can’t stop loving the one that hurt me so much?

• And maybe this will end tomorrow or 2 weeks or 4 months or maybe even 2 years from now… but no matter when it ends I’ll never regret any of it.

• I understand that with love comes pain, but why did I have to love so much?