Let’s say you’ve just broken up with your ex, will you be willing to still be friends with him?

I remember this conversation that I had with my cousin a while back, I remember asking her, “How can you still be friends with your ex? How can you move on, when you still see him and hang out with him?” My cousin just shrugged and told me that it’s just the way it is. They both don’t have hard feelings for each other despite the breakup, so there’s nothing wrong with being friends even though they’re not “together” anymore.

For me, personally, I think there’s nothing wrong with being friends after a breakup. If two people have parted in good terms, what’s to keep them from being friends, right? I mean after all, they do have history, they’ve become lovers and even though that didn’t work out, they still like each other’s company and that’s definitely reason enough to stay as friends. But for bitter breakups or relationships that have ended badly, it’s a lot more difficult.

Usually, people refuse to stay friends with their ex because they’ve been hurt. It may be because they didn’t want the relationship to end in the first place, but unfortunately it has… and they’re just learning to deal with it. As much as possible, they would want to avoid their ex and not be reminded of what used to be, in order for them to really move on. Or maybe, the relationship just ended with both parties hating each other, thus, there’s no possibility for continuing friendship.

It’s also difficult to remain friends when you’re still in love with your ex. I mean, how can you be contented with just being “friends”, right? Every time you see that person, there will always be that longing… deep inside you’re hoping that you’re back together again. So instead of going through even more hurt, you opt not to see that person again, so you could truly move on with your life and find someone new.

There are lots of reasons why people don’t want to be friends with their ex. But in reality, there ARE in fact ex-lovers that end up being friends even right after their breakup. In my opinion, these are relationships that just died a natural death. Meaning, both parties have decided that it’s time for the relationship to end, or maybe both parties feel that they’re better off as friends. Whatever reason they may have, both have accepted the facts and they’re both ready to move on.

I think if I have to answer this question myself, I would say, “It depends.” If the moving on process is hard enough, then maybe in the beginning, I would give myself time to adjust and I won’t have any contact with my ex at all. Getting over someone is hard if you never wanted the relationship to end in the first place. And having him around all the time, when I’m trying to move on, only makes it even harder. I think separating myself away from him for a considerable amount of time, will do the trick. Then when I feel that I’ve truly moved on, and I’m ready to face him again, then maybe we can be friends. After all, I’ve cared about this person once, his friendship would be valuable to me. But of course, it will happen in due time.

How about you, can you be friends with your ex?

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