A guy friend once asked me, “When a girl asks for emotional support, what does she really mean?”

Being a girl and all, I should know the answer to that question, right? But all I could say at first was, “Huh?” I guess I was just caught off guard, it’s definitely not a question I get everyday… and especially not from a guy! I thought he was just kidding around.

But apparently he was serious, so after some careful pondering, I told him, well, maybe you just have to show her that you’re sensitive to her feelings, show her that you can understand where she’s coming from, and that you’re there for her no matter what. Basically, just acknowledge her feelings, sympathize with her, comfort her, ease her fears and anxieties, and show her you care. Easy. Right?

Not!

My friend looked at me blankly as if I were speaking a completely different language. I laughed at his expression and I had to remind myself, “oh yeah, he’s a guy”… and guys don’t necessarily “get” it even though you tell it to them in clear terms. Like me, you’ve probably already come across a book or two explaining the differences between men and women. I’ve heard lots of different kinds of explanations, and my friend’s reaction was definitely proof that men just don’t readily “get” it.

Which leads me once again, to emotional support. What I told my friend is just a general definition of what emotional support really is. But actually, it’s much more deeper than that. Some men reading this will probably resist and say that it’s not fair on their part for women to expect them to just “get” it.

But guys, you have to know that even though you may resist it, we women DO need emotional support, it’s just the plain truth of our being a “woman”. We are highly emotional creatures, even the toughest woman you know has a tendency to be emotional at some point, and I think that’s something that most men can’t come into terms with.

Some women experience opening up to their partners, just to be ignored and not reciprocated, and it hurts. It’s just like talking to a wall, and they end up feeling even more isolated and even worse, rejected. But since most women don’t really understand what goes on in men’s minds, we don’t have a clue either!

Sometimes, all we really need is some comfort and a little bit of support from our men too. We usually don’t expect solutions, we just want some understanding. We’re not asking that men should be at our beck and call, ready to sympathize with us anytime and every time we say so. It’s not that at all. Sometimes, all we need is a little support, perhaps a squeeze in the hand, or a small hug, or even just a few minutes to express our feelings without being criticized for being emotional.

It is a challenge for most men to learn how to be able to give their women emotional support. It takes determination and practice to be able to do it. But once you’re able to give a woman that, trust me, she’ll treasure and love you like no other.

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