The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farm house had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire had caused him to miss an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pick-up truck refused to start.

As I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. When we arrived he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked to the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles; he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed by the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

“Oh, that’s my trouble tree,” he replied. “I know I can’t help having troubles on the job, but one thing’s for sure, they don’t belong in the house with my wife and children. So, I just hang them on the tree when I come home in the evening and then I just pick them up again in the morning.”

“Funny thing, though,” he smiled, “when I come out in the morning to pick ‘em up, there ain’t nearly as many as I remembered hanging there the night before.”

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What’s that, a bonus?

I think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you got to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating…you finish off as a gleam.

A time comes in your life when you finally get it… When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening…

You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren’t always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are … and that’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won’t settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it’s just life happening.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

By: Virginia Marie Swift

A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married ?

Replied the gentleman, “Well, I guess I just never met the right woman … I guess I’ve been looking for the perfect girl.”

“Oh, come on now,” said the friend, “Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry.”

“Yes, there was one girl .. once. I guess she was the one perfect girl .. the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything .. I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me.”

“Well, why didn’t you marry her?” asked the friend.

“She was looking for the perfect man,” he said.

You came along, unexpectedly
I was doing fine in my little world
Oh baby please don’t get me wrong
‘Cause I’m not complaining
But you see, you got my mind spinning

Why can’t it be?
Why can’t it be the two of us
Why can’t we be lovers?
Only friends
You came along
At a wrong place, at a wrong time
Or was it me?

Baby, I dream of you every minute
You’re in my dreams
You’re always in it
That’s the only place I know
Where you could be mine
And I’m yours but only
Till I wake up

Click here to listen to this song…

• I gave you life, but cannot live it for you.
• I can teach you things, but I cannot make you learn.
• I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you.
• I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it.
• I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.
• I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot always decide for you.
• I can buy you beautiful clothes, but I cannot make you beautiful inside.
• I can offer you advice, but I cannot accept it for you.
• I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
• I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
• I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to show honor.
• I can advise you about friends, but cannot choose them for you.
• I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.
• I can tell you the facts of life, but I can’t build your reputation.
• I can tell you about drinks, but I can’t say “no” for you.
• I can warn you about drugs but I can’t prevent you from using them.
• I can tell you about lofty goals, but I can’t achieve them for you.
• I can teach you about kindness, but I can’t force you to be gracious.
• I can warn you about sins, but I cannot make you moral.
• I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.
• I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you eternal life.
• I can love you with unconditional love all of my life… and I will.

We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon. But that doesn’t diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives.

Relationships–of all kinds–are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.

Sometimes, you’ll only realize that there’s something wrong in your life when someone better comes along and shows you what you’ve been missing.

The happiest people on this planet are not those who live on their own terms but are those who change their terms for the ones whom they love.

Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it’s one day further from the last time you saw each other, it’s one day closer to the next time you will.

“A young widower, who loved his five year old son very much, was away on business when bandits came who burned down the whole village and took his son away. When the man returned, he saw the ruins and panicked. The took the burnt corpse of an infant to be his son and cried uncontrollably. He organised a cremation ceremony, collected the ashes and put them in a beautiful little bag which he always kept with him.

Soon afterwards, his real son escaped from the bandits and found his way home. He arrived at his father’s new cottage at midnight and knocked at the door. The father, still grieving asked: “Who is it?” The child answered, it is me papa, open the door!” But in his agitated state of mind, convinced his son was dead, the father thought that some young boy was making fun of him. He shouted: “Go away,” and continued to cry. After some time, the child left. Father and son never saw each other again.”

After this story, the Buddha said: “Sometime, somewhere, you take something to be the truth. If you cling to it so much, even when the truth comes in person and knocks on your door, you will not open it.”