I once participated in a small workshop on public speaking. Each of us was presented with the goal of deeply connecting with all eight attendees. We were to speak from the heart on a specific topic, and the audience was to connect back with the speaker. And while the workshop was indeed interesting, what really grabbed my attention was a married couple who also participated in it. These two demonstrated the type of love connection we all deserve.
Both the husband and wife made a definite connection with everyone in the room when it was their individual turn to speak. As the husband began his speech, he looked at his wife in the audience and magic happened. His eyes darkened. They filled with a mixture of profound love, passion and gratitude for her. He breathed deeper. He stood straighter. He became even more present.
It was as though the admiration and love he saw in his wife’s eyes fed him the strength and permission to be more present; as if she saw him and accepted him so completely that acceptance from everyone else was a given.
When it was his wife’s turn to speak, the same thing happened between them. This time, he fed her with acceptance and delight in her. And she in turn, having the permission, could be fully herself in front of a group of strangers.
These two were ordinary people, both young, perhaps in their early 30’s. She is a stay-at-home mom with a 2-year-old. He is a working professional. But the love, connection and acceptance between them is nothing ordinary.
What they have is true love. Not the passion that ignites at first sight and hurls two people into the drama of a shaky relationship. Not the comfort of some couples, having been together for many years, no longer seeing or caring much about each other. Not the thrill of two people having an affair behind their partners’ backs. This couple is truly in love.
Theirs is a love that accepts unconditionally and transforms each one to be more powerful and alive than before. Theirs is a love that encourages growth in each other, through which both evolve. Theirs is a love that will be remembered in the middle of strife, in the middle of sorrow and in the middle of joy. These two will go deeply emotionally. No words, thoughts or feelings will be left unexpressed. Theirs is a love that will endure.
A relationship like this is rare, but it shouldn’t be. Love, acceptance and passion like this can belong to everyone. What does it take to create such love in your life? It takes the willingness to grow and evolve. It takes the willingness to know yourself. It takes the willingness to ask for what you want and to leave nothing unsaid.
I want and wish this for you. It is your right to experience a connection this deep and this fulfilling. Do everything in your power to make sure your life has a love like this.
by: Rinatta Paries