Love Advice For Women #1: ART OF LETTING GO

I’ve now moved 300 miles (long way in Denmark) away from my ex. He’s with a new girl, the one he cheated on me with. We used to live together, had everything. He was my one and only. Now I have everything I want. New life, with my best friends who has moved along. My career is developing wonderful and I’ve met a wonderful guy who I know will treat me as I deserve. But yet everyday I feel like calling him to see if he has changed his mind… if he still loves me, thinks of me etc. I miss him so much, and can’t get him out of my mind. He lives with the new girl now. I assume he’s in love with her, and that makes me feel like I was just one in the row of his romances in life, where in my heart, he was my everything.

Every time I have to go back home to visit friends and family, I can’t help wanting to meet up with him, though we don’t. I don’t have any contact with him at all, but my heart aches! My friends has done everything possible, I have done everything… and now a year has gone by. I try so hard to keep my mind occupied with other things, but I can’t help thinking of him. I know he did bad things, that he’s no good for me anyway and that he does not deserve me, but I feel like I lost a part of myself that nobody can fulfill but him! Do you have any advice for me? It makes me very depressed sometimes because I feel so helpless, restless, confused and just questioning if we will ever get back together!

I love your site…. you are one of the few people in the world that really has the compassion needed for the rest of us to not feel alone. THANK YOU!! Have a wonderful day… and God Bless You!!

Love Advice for women #1:

You know, yours is a sad, painful story that I know lots of other women out there can relate to. It’s definitely hard letting go of someone you love so much, but you have to LEARN. No one can tell you what to do though, because you are your own person, but advice will always be given and it’s up to you which advice to take.I’m no expert in this, but let me try to give you my opinion. Please ask yourself. Did your ex-boyfriend ever try to contact you? While you’re wondering about him, is he wondering about you? While you’re feeling depressed and confused, is he feeling the same way? Or maybe he’s happy with his new life? You said so yourself, he’s with another girl, the one he has cheated on you with. I know it’s difficult to accept, but it really is quite simple. If he really loved YOU, he would choose you over that girl. Right? But he didn’t. He chose the other girl. That alone, is proof enough that you need to let go. Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s not solely your fault he left. Love just works in mysterious ways, and we can never really understand why it has to end for some. There’s nothing wrong with you, maybe you’re just not meant for each other.

I know what you’re going through. It’s hard. When we love someone so much, we tend to give ourselves completely, and when that someone leaves, it feels like a part of us has died. It’s perfectly normal. It’s part of the grieving process. But sooner or later, you have to move on, COMPLETELY. Maybe some part of you is still hoping that you’ll get back together. Maybe what makes it difficult for you to let go completely. But you’re just making it worse for yourself. It’s not wrong to hope, but you’ve got to know when to stop. You can’t go on living your life stuck to the past. You said you have a wonderful new guy who treats you well, start from there.

Think about this. Maybe your ex is happy now. Can’t you just be happy for him? If you truly love him, you’ll learn to set him free in your heart and accept the fact that he’s happy somewhere else. Because if he isn’t, he should have come running straight back to you, the moment you got out of his life, right?

The pain and sadness will always be there I guess. but it will completely heal in time. Give yourself a chance to find love again. But you won’t be able to do that, if you still desperately cling to your past love. PRAY. God will help you through it. He’ll show you the right path. Just trust in Him. And trust in yourself that you can rise through this. Good luck! and let me know what happens.