I hate you because you made me believe you were different. And then I hate myself for thinking that you were. I should have known you were gonna mistreat me like all the rest. I should have known that night was gonna turn into a night of regret.

I regret kissing you, and I regret letting you touch me the way that you did. But most of all I regret letting you get to my heart even if it was just a little bit. Now it hurts, and no matter how hard, or how much I cry, the pain feels like it’s here to stay. But I know it’s not. ‘Cause you’re not worth my pain, my tears, my heart.

Yes, you broke me down, but you’ve also made me stronger. I know what I’m looking for now, and it’s not you. I need love, and that’s something you won’t have for a long time. I guess I should have known that too.

It’s alright though, I’m getting over you. Tomorrow is another day - another day to heal - to grow - to love.

10th grade…
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me she was my so called “best friend”. I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it… after class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes because she had missed the last day. I handed them to her, she said “thanks” and left… I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why…

11th grade…
The phone rang…on the other end, it was her…she was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, I decided to go home. She looked at me, said ‘thanks’ and I left… I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why…

senior year…
One fine day she walked to my locker “my date is sick” she said, I didn’t have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as ‘best friends’. So we did…that night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes then she said- “I had the best time, thanks!” and left… I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why…

graduation…
A day passed, then a week, then a month… Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine-but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said- “you’re my best friend, thanks” and left… I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why…

marriage…
Now I sit in the pews of the church, that girl is getting married now and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t see me like that, and I knew it… but before she drove away, she came to me and said ‘you came! she said ‘thanks’ and left… I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why…

death…
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my ‘best friend’. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years this is what it read: “I stare at him wishing he was mine; but he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why… I wish he would tell me he loved me!”

…’I wish I did too’… I thought to myself, and I cried…..